Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ode to Formula

When I first became pregnant I thought I would follow the rest,
In the battle of bottle v. breastfeeding I was set on the breast
But then came Miss J to ruin my plan
She boycotted the breast and we joined the world of the can

And so our relationship began with our friend Enfamil
The world of the formula, oh what a thrill
Our baby made us high as a cloud, all smiles no frown
Until we noticed our checking account starting to go down

Bottle after Bottle and can after can
Poor Todd and Mandi, but rich Enfamil man
And as J was near completion with you my friend
We found out we were pregnant again!

And of course following his sister was part of his hype
For we found out H and I had an incompatible blood type
So the doctors said breastfeeding was out for baby # two
And we buckled up for another year with you.

But with our beloved H, it was not so easy
As even your gentle formula made him quite qeasy
And then of course as our luck would set in…
We had to meet your expensive cousin Nutramagin

And then we discovered your mean little plan
Same price as the rest, but a much smaller can
You have smart formula makers what can I say
They know with a colicky baby there’s no price we won’t pay

Your prices said goodbye to our early start to college saving
(And selfishly I must add the IPad I’ve been craving)
But bottles came and bottles went
Our baby happy and filled, our dollars missing and spent

So finally came L, the last child to our pack
L didn’t like Enfamil so we welcomed Similac
More powder on the counters, more ready-to-feed
And just like his brother your expensive cousin we’d need.

Okay, so your $5.00 coupon checks in the mail
Always made me happy without fail
But why may I ask after we received something so nice
Would the stores mysteriously add $5.00 to their regular price?

But through all the bottles, the burps and the gas
And of course the famous recall that came to pass
We braved it all with our adorable son
And counted down the days until he reached one!

So now we’re here, our formula days are near done,
It’s time to say Goodbye, oh boy its been fun
You’ve helped feed my children, but starved our account
And now I must say my friend its time to get out.

No more running out in the middle of a snowy night
No more losing the scoop in the formula...can I get it? Not quite.
And yes saying goodbye to late night snuggle feedings is bittersweet
But, I’m so happy I won’t have to find any more old bottles under my mini-van seat.

So now oh formula we are now going to part
But yes, this time will always remain in my heart
And although my baby growing may cause a tremble in my lip
I’ll console myself will all my extra money and a big shopping trip!

Goodbye old friend!

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