Thursday, June 23, 2011


Pondering today what to talk about.  The topmost thing on my mind is how similar sometimes my job as a mom and my job as an attorney can be.  For example: at home, I have to tell my kids 100 times to do or not to do something, which they inevitably end up doing.  At work, I tell a client 100 times that in order to get the result she wants, she has to do 'X,Y & Z.'  In both cases, I say "trust me, I know what I'm talking about."  In both cases I say "what happened the LAST time you didn't listen to me?".  In both cases I inevitably end up correct and they - kid or client- end up in the doghouse, with some excuse as to why its not really his or her fault.

It's hard to have sympathy for someone who is making all the wrong decisions, against your better advice and sometimes, I think, out of spite.

When its my kids, I at least have the luxury of thinking "well, they just need to learn things the hard way." I did, I had to see everything for myself. (I got three broken bones and some serious permanent scars for it); I also have the luxury of thinking that I've got at least 10 more years to straighten them out.  With clients, it's not so easy.  Instead of looking at another timeout in their rooms or another week without the Wii, my clients are looking at prison, or never seeing their children again.  What is it that prevents someone, kid or adult, from making the choice that seems so obvious to the rest of us?

I used to think it was all about the way the child was raised - 'bad' adults weren't taught the right way to act.  Now, I know that's not true.  Lots and lots of 'criminal thinkers' come out of safe, stable homes.  That is what scares me the most. As an attorney, I can think "Well, I told you!" and watch my client move on to the next phase of his/her life with a clear conscience.  As a parent, I can only wait, watch and pray that the lessons I am trying to teach my kids - about self-respect, respect for others, respect for rules, etc.-are 'sticking.' That when they are older and I'm not there to give them advice, they will remember and most importantly FOLLOW my advice.  There won't be any clear conscience when it comes to my children.  I don't think there ever is

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