Friday, January 28, 2011

Okay, Part II

Mandi's post yesterday really spoke to me.  I've spent a lot of time here (and generally) wondering about my "decision" to be a working mom.  I say "decision" because it wasn't really a decision for me.  I have always been the breadwinner in my family, so there never was a choice about going back to work.  But not having a choice about working doesn't mean that I haven't spent hours wondering if my kids are resenting me for missing bedtime or believing that I'm choosing work over them when I head out the door every Friday morning while they sit in their jammies eating breakfast with Daddy. 

But honestly, I think my kids understand me being a working mom.   I've never been in a position where I could not work in front of my kids.  Maybe it's me, maybe it's the nature of my practice, but separating work and family is not an option.  My worlds tend to bleed into one another.  Sometimes I need to leave work to be with my kids.  Other times I need to work while my kids do something else.  And, in the aggregate, both work and my kids have accepted this arrangement. 

My working is something my kids just accept.  They know they go to daycare so mommy and daddy can work.  Every Friday morning they sit in our bed watching me get ready and ask me if I "have work today."  They understand that I'm not with them for a reason.  Not that I'm choosing work over them, but that I'm doing something that I need to do and that I'll be back with them playing as soon as I can be.  They understand that work is a part of life. 

 And they are okay


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