Monday, December 19, 2011

Finding Christmas

Let the countdown begin…

The week before Christmas already, can you believe it?

This year I was particularly excited for Christmas. My kids are at an amazing age for Christmas, a truly magical age. Experiencing Christmas again through the eyes of a 5, 4, and a 18 month old is wonderful. So starting in late November I started to get really into the Christmas spirit, I played Christmas music while I decorated the house and started to plan out my “I vow to shop early this year (even though I say this every year and never do it) plan”.  
But then as always happens…reality hit. The sugar plum vision of Christmas started to fade. The fabulous family Christmas picture I love to hang on my wall is not so easy to take with a 18 month old, the “must have” gifts my children are begging for are also being requested by 1.9 million others making Mommy have to rush around town and wait in lines, the presents overflowing my basement all need to be wrapped. So last week, excitement moved out and drama moved in.

Here I sit Monday morning absolutely exhausted after a weekend of Christmas programs, gingerbread houses, wrapping presents, assembling presents for teachers, and trying to figure out how to tackle my to-do list. The Christmas season I couldn’t wait for came alright…and now its kicking my butt!
Yesterday I think I hit my Christmas breaking point….I was up at 6:30 a.m. and finished wrapping presents at around 1:30 a.m. Last night even though I was exhausted I could not sleep. I had 1000 thoughts going through my mind. I realized as I laid there next to my shockingly peacefully sleeping husband (isn’t there some rule that if the wife can’t sleep the husband shouldn’t?) that I was dangerously close to becoming the Grinch that stole my own Christmas. I was letting everything and everyone around me effect my Christmas.

Then I thought about my kids and remembered a time when Christmas was just pure excitement. Christmas dinner miraculously appeared on the table, Christmas presents were all wrapped and placed under the tree.  There was no drama. All you had to do was get caught up in the magic of it all, and perhaps wear an ugly reindeer sweater to please your grandmother. Now its my job to make sure that no matter what is going on in my Christmas, their Christmas is un-phased.
Yesterday at our church was the children’s program. I sat there and watched my daughter sing Away in the Manger. As I sat next to my step-dad, my sons, my husband, and my Mom watching our little J singing her heart out, I truly felt Christmas. The love. The hope. The magic. I have to remember to hold on to that feeling this week.

It reminded me that I need to stop worrying about all the craziness of Christmas and just enjoy it. I don’t have many more years of the magical Christmases that I am blessed with now. Pretty soon the Elf on the Shelf will remain on the shelf, my kids won’t be doing cute sign language peace and love signs in Christmas Programs, they will have figured out why Santa and Mom have very similar handwriting.

So I’m taking a deep breath in on this Monday morning, downing an extra Diet Pepsi for a much needed caffeine boost and realizing that I have in my power the ability to either get caught up in Christmas or to truly feel and enjoy it.

So good luck out there Moms.
To celebrate surviving another holiday I’m taking a week vacation next week, so I will not be blogging next Monday. But I’ll be back in 2012 to start another year of the crazy adventures of the JD Moms.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone. Enjoy the magic.

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