Today, as I was surfing the Internet looking for inspiration of something to blog about, I came across this article about how our children teach us about ourselves. http://www.blogher.com/mirror-moments-how-children-teach-us-about-ourselves?wrap=blogher-topics/family-dynamics&crumb=32401
I found it to be such a touching article. The author talks about how one day her son was sitting at the kitchen table playing with markers while she made a pie. Without warning, her son threw down the marker and cries “It’s not perfect.” The author, taken aback, wonders why her son thought his drawing neeto be perfect. He had worked hard on it and done a very good job. But then she looked at herself, in her spotless apron and with her braided-crust, lattice-topped pie and realized she was having a mirror moment: her son’s reaction reflected her own need for perfection. The author recognized her mirror moment and made the most of it, throwing away her magazine-cover worthy pie crust and having her son help her make a less eye-pleasing but more soul-soothing one.
While I can’t think of a specific mirror moment from my own life right now, I know I’ve had them. There have been times when something my kids have done or said that has stopped me in my tracks and made me think “that’s how they see me” or “that’s what they hear me say.” And I’ve certainly heard them repeat my husband. When I hear my kids parrot me (or Husband), I think about how what they are repeating reflects upon how they see me. And I think about whether that is how I want to be seen or heard. I don’t want to be the mom scolding “get your fingers off of the glass,” I want to be the mom with the less-than-perfect pie.
But being the mom with the less-than-perfect-pie isn’t easy. After a long day at work it is easy to come home tired and overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things that “have” to be done before the cycle starts again the next day. Thankfully, we have mirror moments to remind us that the most important “thing” to be done is to enjoy our kids.