A little over 2 months ago, I got a new job. This was wonderful news, especially in today's economy. At first I was a little hesitant, as I would be a manager again, but I was familiar with the job responsibilities and extremely excited about the people I would be working with. Additionally, in my welcome discussion with my manager, he made very clear that he was a family man and that family always comes before work. What a relief! As a working mom, it is sometimes very difficult to explain to your manager that you can't come to work today because your kids are sick or you have a school party to attend.
So I jumped into the roll and began learning new systems, meeting new people and drafting new processes and procedures for my new team. I was coming home energized and loving my new role. Plus, my manager and co-workers were very supportive in both my roles as a manager and as a mom. In this role, I was finally starting to feel confident in my abilities as a manager and in the operational risk field. Yes - I was finding my career path and it was good.
Unfortunately, it was (is?) too good. While I don't often toot my own horn, I believe I am actually pretty good at my job. In my position, I must work with various groups, gather information and distribute it correctly, all while reviewing it for accuracy. And yes, it helps A LOT that I like to talk (or "make the chat."). So I have been asked to work on specific projects.
Thoughts that run through my head are: "Great - people clamoring for the new girl! Awesome - I can really impress my manager and show that I am a great hire!"
But being wanted means that the work load increases. It often means I don't get to pick up my girls from daycare or I leave before they wake up. It also means my hubby gets to hear them say "Mommy works too much." And the working mommy guilt adds up...
So when do I get to be both? When do I get to be the great worker and the great mommy? And honestly and selfishly, I really like my job and like being good at my job (thank goodness I don't have to write for a living - as I think that sentence wasn't written very well!).
Sorry for the vent. Maybe it is time for vacation?