Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Gimme a Break (and Break Me Off a Piece of that Kit Kat Bar While You Are At It)

A little over 2 months ago, I got a new job.  This was wonderful news, especially in today's economy.  At first I was a little hesitant, as I would be a manager again, but I was familiar with the job responsibilities and extremely excited about the people I would be working with.  Additionally, in my welcome discussion with my manager, he made very clear that he was a family man and that family always comes before work.  What a relief!  As a working mom, it is sometimes very difficult to explain to your manager that you can't come to work today because your kids are sick or you have a school party to attend. 

So I jumped into the roll and began learning new systems, meeting new people and drafting new processes and procedures for my new team.  I was coming home energized and loving my new role.  Plus, my manager and co-workers were very supportive in both my roles as a manager and as a mom.  In this role, I was finally starting to feel confident in my abilities as a manager and in the operational risk field.  Yes - I was finding my career path and it was good. 

Unfortunately, it was (is?) too good.  While I don't often toot my own horn, I believe I am actually pretty good at my job.  In my position, I must work with various groups, gather information and distribute it correctly, all while reviewing it for accuracy.  And yes, it helps A LOT that I like to talk (or "make the chat.").  So I have been asked to work on specific projects. 

Thoughts that run through my head are: "Great - people clamoring for the new girl!  Awesome - I can really impress my manager and show that I am a great hire!"

But being wanted means that the work load increases.  It often means I don't get to pick up my girls from daycare or I leave before they wake up.  It also means my hubby gets to hear them say "Mommy works too much."  And the working mommy guilt adds up...

So when do I get to be both?  When do I get to be the great worker and the great mommy?  And honestly and selfishly, I really like my job and like being good at my job (thank goodness I don't have to write for a living - as I think that sentence wasn't written very well!). 

Sorry for the vent.  Maybe it is time for vacation?

Jean Anne

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