Well as you know, I'm on vacation this week...so in the course of my preparations I looked throught my "vaults" of blogs. The blogs I liken to the crumpled pieces of paper near a songwriter's garbage can. Blogs I started but never finished, or blogs I drafted but then something came up that seemed more relevant at the time. So this week, allow me to "uncrumple" a couple of my vault blogs.
During a date night with Todd we were sitting in a dark theater waiting for a movie to start. I sat there in my "wife" role, and realized that my life is made up of so many personalities. I vary a great deal depending on the role I am put in. So allow me to introduce you to the Mandis:
The Attorney Mandi - My attorney persona, the one I spend half my day in, is ironically the most different from the true Mandi. In fact, in the legal world "Mandi" isn't even Mandi: I go by Amanda in my professional life (because Mandi didn't look right on the business cards). At work, I am generally more serious, quiet, and I must act completely different from my personal life as people who only know me as "Amanda" are so surprised when they friend me on Facebook or get to know me "out of the courtoom". I will admit that over the years I have let "Mandi" shine a little more in my professional life, but still it makes me laugh sometimes to hear people who only know me as Amanda describe me. It's completely different than how my friends or family would describe me.
The Wife Mandi - My wife personality is the one that loves to dress up, wear makeup, be "girly", i.e. the girl my husband met long before I was running around after the three amigos. The hopeless romantic personality, the one who loves to be swept off her feet more than sweeping the floor. I love date nights where I can get dressed up and head out for a fun night with my husband - it reminds me of the years where this was really my only persona.
The Sister Mandi - I love being around my two brothers, because then my sister personality comes out. My brothers are among a rare few that have the same sense of humor as I do. Even Todd will look at me with raised eyebrows sometimes when I laugh at one of my favorite movies. In those moments, I text my brothers, knowing that they will think its hilarious!
The Friend Mandi - The friend Mandi is my vulnerable, open side. Whether they like it or not, my friends get the "joy" of dealing with the dramatic Mandi. Although I have to "keep it together" as a Mom and attorney, I can call or email my best friends and admit to my faults, my mistakes, and the drama that is my life. The perfectionist Amanda can admit that she too has faults!
The Mom Mandi - And then there is my favorite personality...the Mom Mandi. The role I feel the most comfortable in. The role that is the closest one to the true Mandi. My Mom personality is my fun, child like side. As a Mom I don't take myself too seriously. I have fun, color with crayons, run through sprinklers and just enjoy being with the three greatest people to ever come into my life. I think this is why I am a Mom first and foremost, because being a Mom is merely being true to my self.
All of my personalities come together to form...well Mandi. I take a little bit of the personality traits that shine out when I'm with certain people and combine them all into who I am. I think this "multiple personality" world is just part of being a Mom. So if you ever want to talk to the most interesting people in the world...always start with the Moms of the world.
Mandi
Showing posts with label Mommy roles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mommy roles. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sugar Mommas
Abovethelaw.com posted an article on Friday advising "sugar mommas" - working women who make more than their husbands - on how to handle comments from colleagues or family members about their non-traditional working roles. http://abovethelaw.com/2011/02/advice-for-sugar-mama-attorneys-and-their-low-income-male-life-partners/
The article was interesting for a lot of reasons: First because there is any discussion about this at all. Aren't we at a point in society yet where we accept women working and - gasp - excelling? It really should no longer beyond the pail to think that a woman might be a CEO or vice president or doctor or professor or whatever and be paid the corresponding salary.
Second, the article was interesting because it was written by a man who gave up his BigLaw job and relies on his wife to bring home the bacon. In my opinion, there isn't anything wrong with the wife being the breadwinner. Just because a man doesn't earn more money doesn't make him any less of a man. To the contrary, in my own personal view, Husband is more of a man because he does more of the child-rearing and unglamourous household tasks. Where as I have to prioritize work at all times, Husband is left with balancing a job that he loves with all of the kid sicknesses, daycare emergencies and just general day-to-day tasks. Not an easy task.
Thankfully, I haven't had much need to defend Husband's role as secondary income earner. While there have been plenty of instances where the question of what my husband does was met with awkward silence, it is what it is and I don't need partners to understand it. Our relationship works for us.
But for those women who are less lucky, Friday's abovethelaw.com article gave some good advice on how to deal with sticky situations with colleagues or friends who don't understand or accept the woman-as-breadwinner-phenomenon. My personal favorite: "don't sweat these fools." Pretty much sums it up for me.
Karen
The article was interesting for a lot of reasons: First because there is any discussion about this at all. Aren't we at a point in society yet where we accept women working and - gasp - excelling? It really should no longer beyond the pail to think that a woman might be a CEO or vice president or doctor or professor or whatever and be paid the corresponding salary.
Second, the article was interesting because it was written by a man who gave up his BigLaw job and relies on his wife to bring home the bacon. In my opinion, there isn't anything wrong with the wife being the breadwinner. Just because a man doesn't earn more money doesn't make him any less of a man. To the contrary, in my own personal view, Husband is more of a man because he does more of the child-rearing and unglamourous household tasks. Where as I have to prioritize work at all times, Husband is left with balancing a job that he loves with all of the kid sicknesses, daycare emergencies and just general day-to-day tasks. Not an easy task.
Thankfully, I haven't had much need to defend Husband's role as secondary income earner. While there have been plenty of instances where the question of what my husband does was met with awkward silence, it is what it is and I don't need partners to understand it. Our relationship works for us.
But for those women who are less lucky, Friday's abovethelaw.com article gave some good advice on how to deal with sticky situations with colleagues or friends who don't understand or accept the woman-as-breadwinner-phenomenon. My personal favorite: "don't sweat these fools." Pretty much sums it up for me.
Karen
Monday, November 8, 2010
My Bucket List
First off, I want to say that this is post will not be morbid at all. I am a very positive person and try to “live for the day.” However, I do think a person can/should have goals he/she wants to accomplish in this life. What is the saying – Life is a journey? Well, I am in it for the long haul!
Second, some of these items on the list are already things that I am planning. My hubby laughs at some of them, because they are pretty basic vacation ideas and just need budgeting and scheduling, but I still think they should be included. (Yes, I like to cross stuff off a list!).
Third, some of you who know me well will laugh at some of them – but that’s ok. As I become more and more comfortable being “me” I think I can expand my “horizons” a little more. Now, I am not going completely wild and crazy, but I maybe I can get out of my “Mommy” role a little more.
So here it is – my bucket list:
1. Go to Disney World with my family (and yes, all my FAMILY!)
2. Take A & B snorkeling in the Turks & Caicos
3. Visit the pyramids of Egypt (I think I can talk someone into this)
4. Head back to Hawaii with my family
5. Figure out how to download pictures from my camera to the computer (don’t laugh – I still can’t do this)
6. Have a girls only trip with my besties from Drake
7. See a show on Broadway
8. Go parasailing
9. Learn to surf
10. Establish a scholarship at my high school in honor of my parents (this is going to take a lot of budgeting!)
11. Go to a Jimmy Buffett concert at Alpine Valley
12. Go skiing (this has been a while, so hopefully I can check this one off soon!)
13. Learn how to water ski
14. Run a 5K
15. Go to the MVC championships in St. Louis, MO. Go BU!
16. Go to the Olympics
As a disclaimer, this list is constantly evolving! For example, approximately 15 years ago, it included meeting Grant Hill, being in the audience of the Rosie O’Donnell show and playing golf with Tiger Woods! However, it did include items #3 and #16. And you know I love to travel, so there is kind of a theme (as you can probably see!)
So, what about you? Anything new and exciting that is a must? And why? I love to hear about other Moms’ plans and dreams, so please share. And I know I am missing some cool events.
Jean Anne
P.S. The budget is set for #1 for September 2013 AND I will be running a 5K for Knox’s Homecoming in October 2011. Mark your calendars and meet me at the finish line!
Second, some of these items on the list are already things that I am planning. My hubby laughs at some of them, because they are pretty basic vacation ideas and just need budgeting and scheduling, but I still think they should be included. (Yes, I like to cross stuff off a list!).
Third, some of you who know me well will laugh at some of them – but that’s ok. As I become more and more comfortable being “me” I think I can expand my “horizons” a little more. Now, I am not going completely wild and crazy, but I maybe I can get out of my “Mommy” role a little more.
So here it is – my bucket list:
1. Go to Disney World with my family (and yes, all my FAMILY!)
2. Take A & B snorkeling in the Turks & Caicos
3. Visit the pyramids of Egypt (I think I can talk someone into this)
4. Head back to Hawaii with my family
5. Figure out how to download pictures from my camera to the computer (don’t laugh – I still can’t do this)
6. Have a girls only trip with my besties from Drake
7. See a show on Broadway
8. Go parasailing
9. Learn to surf
10. Establish a scholarship at my high school in honor of my parents (this is going to take a lot of budgeting!)
11. Go to a Jimmy Buffett concert at Alpine Valley
12. Go skiing (this has been a while, so hopefully I can check this one off soon!)
13. Learn how to water ski
14. Run a 5K
15. Go to the MVC championships in St. Louis, MO. Go BU!
16. Go to the Olympics
As a disclaimer, this list is constantly evolving! For example, approximately 15 years ago, it included meeting Grant Hill, being in the audience of the Rosie O’Donnell show and playing golf with Tiger Woods! However, it did include items #3 and #16. And you know I love to travel, so there is kind of a theme (as you can probably see!)
So, what about you? Anything new and exciting that is a must? And why? I love to hear about other Moms’ plans and dreams, so please share. And I know I am missing some cool events.
Jean Anne
P.S. The budget is set for #1 for September 2013 AND I will be running a 5K for Knox’s Homecoming in October 2011. Mark your calendars and meet me at the finish line!
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