To continue on the theme this week, I am posting some of my personal tips for parenting. And while I am not up for Mother of the Year anytime soon (will my kids ever eat a vegetable?), these are things I have learned being a mom.
1. Hug your kids as much as you can. Sometimes our kids can drive us crazy, but we still love them. So I will randomly just give them a big hug to let them know I am here for them. Plus, they will soon become embarrassed by me, so even better!
2. Buy a DVR/TiVO. Some will argue that kids should not watch too much TV, and for the most part, I agree. But I could not live without my DVR. I don’t remember the last time I actually sat and watched NCIS or Hart of Dixie in real time, because we are too busy with dinner, dance class or swimming lessons. Sometimes I even record the 10 o’clock news! And bonus tip – it doesn’t take as long to watch your favorite show since you can skip the commercials.
3. Buy something to keep them occupied in the car if you travel a lot (Nintendo DS, DVD players, iPad, etc.) Yes, no parent wants their kids to be hooked on video games or watch too much TV. But on a 10 hour car ride, there are only so many times you can hear “Are we there yet?” before you want to just drive off a cliff. So save everyone’s sanity and get them something that will entertain everyone for hours. (This also works for husbands, as when my girls were really little, my hubby watched the Broncos’ Super Bowl win with the girls!).
4. Avoid the family drama. Face it, every family has drama. Currently, my kids are too young to understand all of issues and for that I am thankful. They need to be able to make up their own minds when they are older. For now, we just avoid the awkward situations that will upset them, while still giving them a chance to love everyone.
5. Find “family” that will love your kids no matter what. Similar to #4, family does not have to mean blood relatives. Make sure to spend time with those people who are truly wonderful to you and your family.
6. Don’t take 1 syllable words as the final answer. How was your day? “FINE.” Anything happen at school? “NO.” You probably hear these answers a lot. So keep asking more questions. “How was Ella today? Did you have fun at recess? What words/projects did you work on today?” Etc.
7. Lead by example. Yes – I know this sounds simple, but as adults, we often think we know better than our kids. Like my hubby looking at football scores on his phone while driving or me speeding…because I want them to do that when they are 16. Or saying something inappropriate. My hubby is still upset because A randomly says “holy crap” after hearing me say that (although better than what I actually wanted to say.)
8. Explain to your kids why you work. Many of us feel guilty for working (not getting into the SAHM debate here). So when your kids want you to stay home or pick them up from school, explain why you work and what your job provides for them. It probably doesn’t make you feel less guilty, but it gives them a sense of why you have to work.
9. Let your kids know you make mistakes too. While I want my girls to realize that I am the boss/person in charge, I am also need them to know I am not perfect either. I make mistakes, the same as they do. And it’s ok to make mistakes – we just need to learn from them.
10. Tell you kids you love them every day. Similar to #1, letting your kids know that you love them gives them self confidence to go out and be themselves. Time passes so fast (I can’t believe my girls are going to be 6 in July!) it never hurts to let your kids know they are loved!
Jean Anne
Showing posts with label Do's and Don'ts of Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Do's and Don'ts of Parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Suggestions
Yesterday, Mandi challenged us to come up with some do's and don'ts of parenting. I don't generally have a lot of "do's" or "don'ts" to share with new parents because I think what works for each family is different. I can tell people what I did and whether or not it worked out, but I can't make any guarantees what will work for your family. So, here's a short list of a few things that worked for me, and that I hope could work for your family too:
1. Hire a cleaning lady. If you are a working mom without a cleaning lady, God bless you. I have no idea how you do it. Hiring a cleaning lady gave me back a few of those precious hours of free time I had been spending scrubbing toilets and floors. Our cleaning lady only comes in once a month - which means I still do plenty of cleaning between appointments - but it also means she's affordable. If you can any way swing the cost of a cleaning lady, even if just once a month, it's totally worth it in my opinion.
2. Have a plan. My life has a million moving pieces. In order to make sure that all of those pieces make it together into the puzzle that is our day, I have to have a plan for making sure that no piece gets overlooked. I have a plan for dinner. I have a plan for who is going to pick up the kids from school. I even have a plan for my work, categorizing it by deadline and ability to do it from home or on the train. Of course, things never go as planned, but when you've already worked out who is doing daycare pick-up and who is running out to Target tonight, you can better handle that last-minute temporary restraining order thrown your way.
3. Lie to your kids sometimes. I'm not a good liar. Anyone who has ever met me can tell you that. But I firmly believe as parents, sometimes it is in the greater good to lie to our kids. Now, I'm not advocating about lying about big, important things, but sometimes a little white lie is okay. Like when our football loving two year old didn't understand why he had to apologize for randomly tackling people all of the time, we told him that at the end of the game when the two teams shook hands they told each other "sorry." I stopped getting blindsided and he learned the importance of apologies. A win, win. Now I just have to remember to tell him the truth before I sign him up for the youth football league.
4. Give your bottle fed baby bottles straight from the refrigerator. If I had a dime for every comment I got from people about how I fed my kids cold formula I wouldn't have to work right now. But not warming up my kids' bottles when they were babies was a huge time-saver and it didn't hurt my kids one bit. Formula has the same nutritional value whether it's warm or cold. And at 2 am, it was a heck of a lot more convenient to just grab a bottle from the fridge and feed rather than go through all the warming steps. It also made the transition to real milk super easy. After all, my kids knew milk was supposed to be cold.
5. Always sign your kids up for activities so that they aren't the big fish in a little pond. I'm actually guilty of violating this recommendation right now with Sweet Pea's dance class, but generally, I think when signing your kids up for school or sports or whatever, always sign them up for the class where they can still meaningfully participate, but where they won't be the biggest or the best. I think my kids learn and are motivated by other kids. And they improve so much when being challenged. My fish are small, but I believe that they are becoming better swimmers because they are challenged by their peers.
6. Don't sweat the small stuff. I think that the "small stuff" is different for each family, but the key to this "don't" is to figure out what "small stuff" means to your family. I believe it is physically impossible for working parents to do all of things parenting magazines or societal pressures tell us we "should" do. So don't worry about it. Figure out what is important to you and your family and do those things. Everything else will work itself out.
Karen
1. Hire a cleaning lady. If you are a working mom without a cleaning lady, God bless you. I have no idea how you do it. Hiring a cleaning lady gave me back a few of those precious hours of free time I had been spending scrubbing toilets and floors. Our cleaning lady only comes in once a month - which means I still do plenty of cleaning between appointments - but it also means she's affordable. If you can any way swing the cost of a cleaning lady, even if just once a month, it's totally worth it in my opinion.
2. Have a plan. My life has a million moving pieces. In order to make sure that all of those pieces make it together into the puzzle that is our day, I have to have a plan for making sure that no piece gets overlooked. I have a plan for dinner. I have a plan for who is going to pick up the kids from school. I even have a plan for my work, categorizing it by deadline and ability to do it from home or on the train. Of course, things never go as planned, but when you've already worked out who is doing daycare pick-up and who is running out to Target tonight, you can better handle that last-minute temporary restraining order thrown your way.
3. Lie to your kids sometimes. I'm not a good liar. Anyone who has ever met me can tell you that. But I firmly believe as parents, sometimes it is in the greater good to lie to our kids. Now, I'm not advocating about lying about big, important things, but sometimes a little white lie is okay. Like when our football loving two year old didn't understand why he had to apologize for randomly tackling people all of the time, we told him that at the end of the game when the two teams shook hands they told each other "sorry." I stopped getting blindsided and he learned the importance of apologies. A win, win. Now I just have to remember to tell him the truth before I sign him up for the youth football league.
4. Give your bottle fed baby bottles straight from the refrigerator. If I had a dime for every comment I got from people about how I fed my kids cold formula I wouldn't have to work right now. But not warming up my kids' bottles when they were babies was a huge time-saver and it didn't hurt my kids one bit. Formula has the same nutritional value whether it's warm or cold. And at 2 am, it was a heck of a lot more convenient to just grab a bottle from the fridge and feed rather than go through all the warming steps. It also made the transition to real milk super easy. After all, my kids knew milk was supposed to be cold.
5. Always sign your kids up for activities so that they aren't the big fish in a little pond. I'm actually guilty of violating this recommendation right now with Sweet Pea's dance class, but generally, I think when signing your kids up for school or sports or whatever, always sign them up for the class where they can still meaningfully participate, but where they won't be the biggest or the best. I think my kids learn and are motivated by other kids. And they improve so much when being challenged. My fish are small, but I believe that they are becoming better swimmers because they are challenged by their peers.
6. Don't sweat the small stuff. I think that the "small stuff" is different for each family, but the key to this "don't" is to figure out what "small stuff" means to your family. I believe it is physically impossible for working parents to do all of things parenting magazines or societal pressures tell us we "should" do. So don't worry about it. Figure out what is important to you and your family and do those things. Everything else will work itself out.
Karen
Monday, January 23, 2012
Our First Blog Challenge: Do's and Don'ts of Parenting
It goes without saying that kids do not come with instruction manuals. How come there are more sites giving you advice on how to apply eye makeup than how to parent?
Okay let me clarify this...I'm not talking about the so-called experts, because yes I know there are billions of pages of parenting advice from the experts. I'm talking about real life advice, not from the Ph.D but from a MOM. I’m sorry Dr. Soandso but if I followed your hardfast rule of no Binkies past 6 months old, I would not have slept from 2008-2010.
I think it's because none of us want to admit we are "experts" at parenting. No one brags on themselves because you know as soon as you think you are a great Mom, your son will start screaming in a crowded restaurant or you'll get that look at play group when your child is the only one that won't share. But the truth is if you are a Mom, you are an expert on how to be a Mom. Plain and simple.
So come on, we all pin about 1000 pins on our Pinterest showing perfect organizing closet tips or cake recipes, but we don't have a good guide of tips in our arsenal anywhere. Which leads me to a little challenge for us here this week.
I thought it was time to propose a little blog challenge here on JD Moms and try to start a Do’s and Don’ts list for parenting, the tips of a trade so to speak. So, I’m calling out my fellow JD Mom bloggers and readers to help me with this. Karen, Christine, and Jean, I hope you girls will add on to this list this week in your blogs. And I hope if you are reading this you will leave me at least 1 tip...come on its Monday, you don't want to be doing what you are doing now anyway!
Okay so I’ll start:
1. Don’t lie….umm often. Okay, so we all know it’s best not to lie to our kids, but I find it is entirely necessary when faced with such classic questions as: (1) Mom, are there veggies in this? (2) Mom, will my teeth really fall out if I don’t brush them? (3) Mom, will you really pull over if I don’t stop shoving my brother in the back seat?
2. Don’t get too excited when your son runs out of the bathroom to tell you “I aimed”. Take it from me, when a 4 year old boy tells you that he aimed, the next question out of your mouth should be… “In the toilet right?” This tip has been confirmed by me and my bathroom trash can.
3. Do take time to play hide and seek. Okay, so playing Barbie can get old after awhile, and I still have yet to master how to play Thomas the Train well with my boys, but trust me all adults rock at hide and seek. So, make sure when that option comes up at your house, you always join in. And here’s a bonus tip: always hide behind a door, it’s so simple yet they never look there.
4. Don’t take your kids grocery shopping if you can avoid it. I know its hard, but try not to run these errands with your kids. I am not a mathematician but I am pretty sure there is some formula that says for every kid you bring along for these errands you can add at least $22.42 to your bill.
5. Don’t pretend you’re leaving for a “meeting”. My first years as a working Mom, I always felt guilty when I left at 3:30 for a dance class, or 4:15 just to pick up my kid first from daycare for a change. I can remember leaving my firm and smiling quick… “I’m headed to a meeting”. Okay technically true, it’s a meeting at a dance studio. But over the years I decided that its always best to fly your Mom flag proudly. Now when I leave I just usually smile and say “Gotta go get my boys” or “Off to Dance Class”…and I feel so much better.
6. Don’t envy the SAHM crowd. Alright let’s solve this battle first and foremost. We are all Moms whether we stay at home or we work. We all have things that are better than the other, and yes, we ALL have it rough. When I first had J I found it very hard to be around people that were Stay at Home Moms, because well, I was SO jealous that they had the ability to do what I wanted to do most. Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side, and I’ve learned over these years that my working is a good thing.
7. Do fill up your phone or tablet with a ton of kids stuff. Okay, take it from me, use the following formula for your phone or tablet:for every app, book, or magazine you get yourself, buy your kids at least 2-3. The iPad that I swore was for work has about 10 pages of stuff for my kids and about 2 for me. But trust me, I secretly say a “Thank you Steve Jobs” every time I’m stuck getting my oil changed or at the doctor’s office and I can turn on a video or play a game and instantly the “Are we done yet” is gone. Just face the fact people, that iPhone in your purse, stopped being “yours” before you even bought it.
8. Don’t teach your kids a new song…unless you know all the words. Yeah, that LMFAO song is awesome to listen to after a long day of work, but the look on your husband’s face when your 5 year old sings “I’m Sexy and I know it”…yeah not a face you want to get often.
9. Do skimp on baby wipes, Don’t skimp on diapers. This is one I have learned from my three kids that never gets old. I buy cheap store brand wipes all the time, but I will always opt for Pampers Cruisers, even if the other diapers are so much cheaper. Trust me with my three kids I have had about 1000 near blow outs saved because I spent the extra $1.19. Oh yeah and here’s another tip I learned from the medical people in my family…the cheap store brand Diaper Cream, yep that stuff is often stronger and works BETTER than the name brand.
10. Do get to know your kids daycare teachers, and not just their resumes. Daycare is hard on working Moms. But I have found the one thing that makes it easier for me is I have made it a point to really get to know the providers. And I’m not talking about simply checking their resumes or references, I mean really get to know them. My kids go to a large daycare center, but I have gotten to know the teachers a lot, befriended them on Facebook, found out about their personalities…and you know what, it makes it so much easier knowing that they are there.
11. Do buy girls a size up, but for boys stay on target. I’m not sure why this is true, but I have found that with girls it is always best to buy a size bigger (or two in some instances) than your daughter, but you can’t do that with boys. I have actually put this to test a year ago. I find it crazy that my daughter who is a size 6 in girls jeans can fit into her brother 4T jeans. So trust me, when buying clothes for a girl, buy up, but for a boy try to resist the urge or you’ll look like I did last summer…raising a hip hop up and comer, as L’s pants were always hanging down.
12. Don’t forget that some of the classic rules still apply. You know how you were always tired of hearing “Don’t run in the house” when you were a kid? Okay after a trip to the emergency room with my son after he went head first into our fireplace…trust me they were right. Yes, some classic rules never die.
13. Do spend money on a cell phone camera or app. A lot of Moms spend money on a good camera, but could care less about the camera on their phone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been somewhere and a cute memory happened and I didn’t have my camera. And we all know cell phones are great, but their cameras usually are horrible. I have learned that it’s best to invest in a good cell phone camera, and if you have a good one, get the apps such as Instagram or Hipstamatic. They make your cell phone pics often better than your regular one. Trust me the best moments in life happen when your camera is not there.
Okay, so I started the discussion, let’s keep it going. Let’s make this a Do’s and Don’t list that will have Dr. Phil impressed! (Okay, maybe that’s a little bit too far, but you know what I mean!). Have a great week everyone!
Mandi
Okay let me clarify this...I'm not talking about the so-called experts, because yes I know there are billions of pages of parenting advice from the experts. I'm talking about real life advice, not from the Ph.D but from a MOM. I’m sorry Dr. Soandso but if I followed your hardfast rule of no Binkies past 6 months old, I would not have slept from 2008-2010.
I think it's because none of us want to admit we are "experts" at parenting. No one brags on themselves because you know as soon as you think you are a great Mom, your son will start screaming in a crowded restaurant or you'll get that look at play group when your child is the only one that won't share. But the truth is if you are a Mom, you are an expert on how to be a Mom. Plain and simple.
So come on, we all pin about 1000 pins on our Pinterest showing perfect organizing closet tips or cake recipes, but we don't have a good guide of tips in our arsenal anywhere. Which leads me to a little challenge for us here this week.
I thought it was time to propose a little blog challenge here on JD Moms and try to start a Do’s and Don’ts list for parenting, the tips of a trade so to speak. So, I’m calling out my fellow JD Mom bloggers and readers to help me with this. Karen, Christine, and Jean, I hope you girls will add on to this list this week in your blogs. And I hope if you are reading this you will leave me at least 1 tip...come on its Monday, you don't want to be doing what you are doing now anyway!
Okay so I’ll start:
1. Don’t lie….umm often. Okay, so we all know it’s best not to lie to our kids, but I find it is entirely necessary when faced with such classic questions as: (1) Mom, are there veggies in this? (2) Mom, will my teeth really fall out if I don’t brush them? (3) Mom, will you really pull over if I don’t stop shoving my brother in the back seat?
2. Don’t get too excited when your son runs out of the bathroom to tell you “I aimed”. Take it from me, when a 4 year old boy tells you that he aimed, the next question out of your mouth should be… “In the toilet right?” This tip has been confirmed by me and my bathroom trash can.
3. Do take time to play hide and seek. Okay, so playing Barbie can get old after awhile, and I still have yet to master how to play Thomas the Train well with my boys, but trust me all adults rock at hide and seek. So, make sure when that option comes up at your house, you always join in. And here’s a bonus tip: always hide behind a door, it’s so simple yet they never look there.
4. Don’t take your kids grocery shopping if you can avoid it. I know its hard, but try not to run these errands with your kids. I am not a mathematician but I am pretty sure there is some formula that says for every kid you bring along for these errands you can add at least $22.42 to your bill.
5. Don’t pretend you’re leaving for a “meeting”. My first years as a working Mom, I always felt guilty when I left at 3:30 for a dance class, or 4:15 just to pick up my kid first from daycare for a change. I can remember leaving my firm and smiling quick… “I’m headed to a meeting”. Okay technically true, it’s a meeting at a dance studio. But over the years I decided that its always best to fly your Mom flag proudly. Now when I leave I just usually smile and say “Gotta go get my boys” or “Off to Dance Class”…and I feel so much better.
6. Don’t envy the SAHM crowd. Alright let’s solve this battle first and foremost. We are all Moms whether we stay at home or we work. We all have things that are better than the other, and yes, we ALL have it rough. When I first had J I found it very hard to be around people that were Stay at Home Moms, because well, I was SO jealous that they had the ability to do what I wanted to do most. Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side, and I’ve learned over these years that my working is a good thing.
7. Do fill up your phone or tablet with a ton of kids stuff. Okay, take it from me, use the following formula for your phone or tablet:for every app, book, or magazine you get yourself, buy your kids at least 2-3. The iPad that I swore was for work has about 10 pages of stuff for my kids and about 2 for me. But trust me, I secretly say a “Thank you Steve Jobs” every time I’m stuck getting my oil changed or at the doctor’s office and I can turn on a video or play a game and instantly the “Are we done yet” is gone. Just face the fact people, that iPhone in your purse, stopped being “yours” before you even bought it.
8. Don’t teach your kids a new song…unless you know all the words. Yeah, that LMFAO song is awesome to listen to after a long day of work, but the look on your husband’s face when your 5 year old sings “I’m Sexy and I know it”…yeah not a face you want to get often.
9. Do skimp on baby wipes, Don’t skimp on diapers. This is one I have learned from my three kids that never gets old. I buy cheap store brand wipes all the time, but I will always opt for Pampers Cruisers, even if the other diapers are so much cheaper. Trust me with my three kids I have had about 1000 near blow outs saved because I spent the extra $1.19. Oh yeah and here’s another tip I learned from the medical people in my family…the cheap store brand Diaper Cream, yep that stuff is often stronger and works BETTER than the name brand.
10. Do get to know your kids daycare teachers, and not just their resumes. Daycare is hard on working Moms. But I have found the one thing that makes it easier for me is I have made it a point to really get to know the providers. And I’m not talking about simply checking their resumes or references, I mean really get to know them. My kids go to a large daycare center, but I have gotten to know the teachers a lot, befriended them on Facebook, found out about their personalities…and you know what, it makes it so much easier knowing that they are there.
11. Do buy girls a size up, but for boys stay on target. I’m not sure why this is true, but I have found that with girls it is always best to buy a size bigger (or two in some instances) than your daughter, but you can’t do that with boys. I have actually put this to test a year ago. I find it crazy that my daughter who is a size 6 in girls jeans can fit into her brother 4T jeans. So trust me, when buying clothes for a girl, buy up, but for a boy try to resist the urge or you’ll look like I did last summer…raising a hip hop up and comer, as L’s pants were always hanging down.
12. Don’t forget that some of the classic rules still apply. You know how you were always tired of hearing “Don’t run in the house” when you were a kid? Okay after a trip to the emergency room with my son after he went head first into our fireplace…trust me they were right. Yes, some classic rules never die.
13. Do spend money on a cell phone camera or app. A lot of Moms spend money on a good camera, but could care less about the camera on their phone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been somewhere and a cute memory happened and I didn’t have my camera. And we all know cell phones are great, but their cameras usually are horrible. I have learned that it’s best to invest in a good cell phone camera, and if you have a good one, get the apps such as Instagram or Hipstamatic. They make your cell phone pics often better than your regular one. Trust me the best moments in life happen when your camera is not there.
Okay, so I started the discussion, let’s keep it going. Let’s make this a Do’s and Don’t list that will have Dr. Phil impressed! (Okay, maybe that’s a little bit too far, but you know what I mean!). Have a great week everyone!
Mandi
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