Heros In Different Packages

When Karen was suffering through her terrible ordeal, I thought JD Moms was over. But, with grace and strength, Karen weathered her storm and has a beautiful baby girl.  In September, despite the incredible emotional strain she and her family went through, Karen was gracious enough to post a beautiful blog. 

Lately, I have been contemplating the roles and trials of women, as well as the kind of world I want my 8 year old daughter to grow up in. Three strong, independent women head my list for the kind of parent I would like to be, as well as the kind of daughter I want to raise. 

Karen heads that list.  She went through an incredibly painful and emotionally damaging ordeal - there is nothing more paralyzing and frightening for a mother than the risk of safety and life of her child. Not only was Karen required to go through that private hell, but she also had to deal with betrayal from those she thought were closest to her.  She did so with such strength and introspection that I am in awe. I hope, although I pray I may never be, that if I am tested as Karen was, that I will be able to survive and to find strength as she has done. Karen is my idol as a mother and as a woman. 

Two other women I seek for myself and my daughter to emulate are Jada and Willow Pinkett-Smith and and Chrissy and Isabella Weems. 

Recently, when Jada was asked why she allowed her daughter to shave her hair off., her response was incredibly profound. Her response was as follows: 

"The question 

why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don't belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power, or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit, and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It's also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother's deepest insecurities, hopes, and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be." 

While I could never have said it so effectively, I have always held the same belief for my own daughter. She wears the clothes she wants to wear, she chooses her hair style and she decides who can be affectionate and when.  I won't deny that it breaks my heart when she won't let me shower her with kisses, but it's her body and her choice. I get three cheek kisses as bed time - and I have to be okay with that. And while I know her outfits sometimes raise eyeballs and draw smiles - she chooses her own clothing. I want her to be independent and strong-willed; to know what she wants and to know that she can get it if she is willing to work for it.  

Which leads me to my final "hero" - Isabella Weems, and her mother Chrissy.  Isabella Weems is a sixteen year old girl with her own successful direct sales company - Origami Owl. When she was 14, she wanted to start saving money to buy a car. Her mother Chrissy encouraged her to start a business. She researched her product and decided on clear lockets with charms personal to the purchaser. With $350 of her own money and $350 from her parents, Isabella created her own business.  The business took off and is now a national direct sales company with approximately $300,000 in sales for 2011. Chrissy and Isabella run the company together, with Isabella remaining the guiding force of what the company will be and do. 

I am constantly trying to instill in my daughter that she can be and do anything she wants. This mother-daughter team is living proof that gender, and even age, do not have to be barriers to success, as long as our daughters are self-confident, motivated and most of all, encouraged by us. 

Long live strong. independent women - and long live JDMoms! 

Christine

Baby Blessings

At 17 weeks, I was told there was a greater than 1 in 10 chance she had downs syndrome. 

At 18 weeks I thought I was losing her. 

At 20 weeks, (and 21 weeks and 23 weeks and the day before my due date) I was told she was small for her gestational age. 

At 24 weeks, I was told she would come early. 

A little over three weeks ago, Baby A arrived.  She was 4 days late, average size for her gestational age, and she is healthy.  To say we have been blessed is an understatement.  To me, Baby A is living, breathing proof of the power of prayer. 

I know it has been a while since any of us have posted on the blog.  In my last post, way back in late March or early April, I revealed that I was 20+ weeks pregnant with Baby A, and that things were not going well.  Prior to that blog post, very few people knew that I was expecting a baby.  I wasn't showing and for whatever reason we simply didn't announce that I was expecting.  We told even fewer people about my test results and the subsequent genetic testing.  Not even Husband's immediate family or my brothers knew what we were going through.  So when I finally posted everything we had been going through on the blog, it was a pretty big moment for me.  But I was unprepared for people's responses. 

Not many people responded to the post directly (which I subsequently took down), but the messages I got directly from my friends ranged in tone.  Some friends were irked that I didn't tell them about the pregnancy sooner.  Others were outraged that I risked my baby's life with an amnio and admitted that I considered the option of termination.  And some friends were simply silent.  My email to them went unreturned, as if it were never sent. 

For each of these hurtful responses, however, Husband and I also received tens of responses of people supporting us and praying for us.  I can't put into words how touched we were by each and every person who offered up a prayer, wish for strength or kind thought for our family during that time.  Or how much I appreciated each and every email and text people sent just checking in to see how things were going.   I especially can't express enough gratitude to the friends who walked this journey with me.  For those of you who impatiently awaited amnio results with me, who texted me after each of the many, many ultrasounds to see how big baby was, and who cried with me in both sadness and joy, I am truly forever grateful.  I couldn't have made it through without you. 

Every time I hold our new daughter I thank God for her life, her health and for everyone who gave selflessly of themselves to make our joy possible.  Baby A is a blessing, and her health an answer to prayer.  Thank you to all of you whose prayers brought Baby A into our lives. 

Karen